The Procrastination Monster Held Me Hostage but I’m Calling a Truce
How can someone who used to be so organized and on top of things become a major procrastinator?!?
My one and only goal yesterday was to make some sort of plan for heading north in a few weeks. I even put it in writing in the Life Right Now section of my last post.
But did I make a plan?
Nope.
I know exactly when the Procrastination Monster started taking root. Here’s the story…
The scene changed in 2015…
I was 51 years old when my job of 30 years was eliminated and moved overseas. I had many job titles over the years with my longest job lasting 14 years (managing 19 to 21 employees). I was known for being extremely organized and took pride in always getting the job done ahead of schedule.
Several months after my job became toast, my daughter Nikki left the nest (she was 19 at the time). I was a single-mom, raising her on my own.
This was also the timeframe when I chose to move into the van.
Up until I became a jobless empty nester living in a van…
I’d always been the responsible one:
- Solely responsible for raising my child.
- Solely responsible for running a household.
- Responsible for managing a unit within a large company.
- Responsible for my unit meeting company standards.
These are just the main points but, looking back, I took responsibility for everything except myself.
The day Nikki left the nest…
Was the day my world came crashing down.
It hit me harder than I expected. I felt the same way I did when my Mom died.
On the heels of no longer having a job, I was no longer responsible for raising my child… she was an adult who needed to be in charge of herself.
For the first time in my adult life…
I was responsible for myself and only myself - something I didn’t know how to do.
There were no deadlines to meet, no outside responsibilities to manage.
Having to take care if myself - topped with the grief of losing major pieces of my identity - was so much harder than I expected.
Funny how quickly things can flip…
Once upon a time, I was a well organized, go-get-em type of person.
Now, I’m a laid-back, I’ll-get-to-it-when-I-get-to-it kinda gal.
Talk about going from one extreme to the other!
Parting thoughts…
I spend winter here visiting Nikki. I never enjoy leaving her but the south Florida summer heat and humidity is not my cup of tea. Leaving Nikki is always bittersweet and I know it’s feeding the monster right now.
The Procrastination Monster has had over a decade to take root - the roots now run deep.
I’ll have to tackle this monster the same way I’d tackle eating an elephant… one bite at a time.
Connie 🌼
PS: No elephants were harmed in the writing of this post 🐘💕
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Life Right Now
- My Whereabouts → Southeast Florida
- Home Base → An extended-stay hotel
- I’m Here Until → Sometime in March or April
- On Today’s Agenda → Tackling my heading north for summer plan - one bite at a time.
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