Connie Sue 🌾

I Should Be Looking Forward to Summer but I’m Not so Sure

My aunt has dementia.

In a month or so, I’ll be leaving southeast Florida, moseying my way back to northwest Illinois (where Auntie M lives)… and I can’t decide if I’m looking forward to it or not.

Since early 2023, I’ve been helping Auntie M keep track of appointments, groceries, medications, and other important tasks. She’s the main reason I spend the entire camping season in my hometown area from mid-April to late-October.

Each summer has been more draining than the last. And, during recent phone calls to check-in with her, I’ve noticed a few changes that have me thinking the inevitable could be closer than either of us would like.

Auntie M has her affairs in order…

She handled her legal paperwork and expressed her wishes a few years ago but nothing has been legally activated.

I promised I would help her maintain as much independence as possible - for as long as possible.

My assistance is in an unofficial capacity but everything is ready to go… if and when the time comes.

When I go to southeast Florida for the winter…

I handle her affairs remotely… calling her throughout the week to check-in and handling important items via phone, online, and modern technology.

About a year and a half ago, I employed a Caregiver service who goes to Auntie M’s house several days a week. I’m in regular contact with them via phone and their online portal.

If needed, she has 2 neighbors I could call and there’s a family member who I stay in touch with and knows what’s going on with Auntie M. I use these options sparingly because one neighbor has school-aged kids and isn’t always home, the other is 90 years old with her own health issues, and the family member works and lives an hour away.

I use the Caregiver service year-round…

I need the extra help whether I’m in Illinois or not.

Auntie M didn’t want the Caregiver service more than 1 day per week but, for her safety and my sanity, I’ve had to increase the number of days they visit.

She wasn’t thrilled about this but I gave her the option of more in-home visits or going to assisted living.

She chose more in-home visits. Newsflash: Her decision didn’t shock me in the slightest!

Increasing the Caregiver help was also a challenge for me because I had to admit I couldn’t do it all.

As I contemplate the near future…

My feelings about the upcoming season keep flip-flopping. I can’t pin it down to excitement but I can’t pin it down to dread, either.

One thing is for sure, I truly enjoy my winters in southeast Florida… not only visiting my daughter but recuperating from a busy, mentally exhausting summer.

Parting thoughts…

This winter, I spent a lot of time focusing on myself, gaining clarity about my life, and dismantling the heavily embedded worrying and overthinking habits I acquired throughout my life.

It hasn’t been easy but I can tell I’ve come a long way!

I don’t know how I feel about the impending summer but I do know I need to enjoy the rest of my winter while making flexible travel plans. I prefer willy-nilly travel but… in this day and age… a semi-sorta-kinda-working plan is a better way to go.

I won’t concern myself with anything else… until I get back to Auntie M.

Connie 🌼

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Life Right Now

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