I May Have Unintentionally Reached a Milestone
When I started this blog I set one simple rule for myself... every post has to come from the present moment.
Sometimes that means reflecting on the past or pondering the future… which is all fine and dandy… but, for the sake of sanity, the focus needs to be from the now.
The other day I wrote and published a post. The next day, I deleted that post.
That post made my insides quiver. It wasn’t the nervous butterfly jitters - it was a gut twisting “you’re still dwelling on the past and need to stop it” kind of quiver.
My post was sparked by the present moment but the focus, in my mind, definitely moved to the past.
After deleting the post, the gut wrenching subsided.
Sharing my past is one thing. Living in the past is an entirely different struggle and I’m still working on it - specifically when it comes to the 15+ year toxic relationship I found myself in many years ago.
The fact is, I made it thru those 15+ years. Maybe not unscathed but definitely alive!
The blessing is, my doctor told me I couldn’t get pregnant yet I unexpectedly ended up with a wonderful daughter.
Writing that post, publishing it to the world, and deleting it turned out to be symbolic and an unintentional milestone.
Thanks for lending me your ear,
Connie 🥀
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